It was a bright and sunny day and I held my child in my arms. My beautiful, warm and unknown gender child. My child was smiling up at me, looking in my eyes with all the trust in the world, believing that mommy would take care of all it's needs and I the willing mommy was eager to take care of my baby's needs. I could beat the asinine car driver who made me wake from this wondrous dream! Yes, it was a dream! I woke up feeling empty, as if I was missing a piece of me. Definitely not what you want to be feeling at three in the morning!
But it did get me to thinking, if dreams are the window to the subconscious am I secretly yearning for children? Was this the evidence of the tick tock? Was it now time to start thinking marriage and family? Was my body telling me something by way of my dreams that I failed to recognize when I am wide awake?
Of all the maddening things that can happen after a dream like that you find out that two people you know are expecting! To make matters worst every tenth woman you pass on the road is either expecting or holding their bundle of joy! Then in the same week the older family members start reminding me I'm getting older or shared stories of their bundle of joy being joyful!
Really!? Can't a woman get a break!? Can't a woman just live her life?
I'm a strong believer in allowing God to determine the when and how of my life. But the universe is somehow sending me a strong message that I cannot ignore. I'm gonna admit I'm kinda jealous especially when I think that at my current age my child might not be too happy when I have to visit school on PTA days. Probably will not take home the meeting notices and could more than likely ask someone else's young hot mamma to collect their report.
Disclaimer: While I am indeed at the point where the alarm is going off, it goes on snooze often enough for me to ignore it and so I exaggerated the truth just a tad bit.
